This brave couple is aiming to raise awareness and dispel the stigma of baby loss in advance of Baby Loss Awareness Week
After two sad losses, a brave Newark couple is aiming to raise awareness and dispel the stigma of baby loss.
Aimee Scrimshaw and Ben Norfolk have shared their story in advance of Baby Loss Awareness Week, which begins on Wednesday and runs until October 15.
Aimee first suffered an ectopic pregnancy, an anomaly where the baby grows in the fallopian tubes instead of the womb, in 2016, and the couple gave their baby the nickname Bambino.
All of Aimee’s pregnancies were a surprise as not only were they told that Ben could not have children due to illness, but Aimee was also using contraception.
She became pregnant with their son, David-Melvyn, now two, shortly after the ectopic pregnancy.
Aimee found out she was pregnant again in May this year, and was closely monitored due to her previous ectopic pregnancy.
But when she was 19 weeks’ pregnant, she began to bleed heavily and was told at an emergency scan that there was no heartbeat.
She then had to go through the trauma of delivering her baby, a girl, who the couple named Destiny-Anne.
Their baby’s death hit the whole family hard, and Aimee said it was important to remember that it was not just parents that were affected by the loss of a baby, but also the extended family too.
“My nieces and nephews were really upset when we told them that the baby wasn’t coming, and my mum isn’t doing well because Destiny was her grand-daughter,” Aimee said, “Baby loss affects so many people.”
The couple have received support from Newark-based charity Help Us Grieve (HUG), which they said was invaluable.
“We’ve had such a lot of support from HUG, I honestly don’t think we could have got through it without them,” Ben said, “There’s no-one there to judge you as we’re all going through the same thing and you can talk to someone who understands.”
Both Aimee and Ben now volunteer for HUG.
HUG founder Amy Everatt said: “It’s amazing how much of a bond all our members and volunteers have. I never imagined it would happen, but when you think about it, we’re all in the same situation and want to help each other.”
Ben said that he did not properly grieve for Bambino until over a year later, and that there was still a message out there that men should be able to get over it.
“People do get uncomfortable when you talk about losing your baby. They just don’t know what to say,” Aimee said, “And we want people to know that it’s ok to talk about your babies, all of them.”
If you require HUG’s services, email firstname.lastname@example.org or visit www.facebook.com/helpusgrieve.co.uk/