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Rosalyn Palmer : Don’t fall for social media pressure of being perfect


By Rosalyn Palmer


Rosalyn Palmer. Picture: Ursula Kelly Photography & Video
Rosalyn Palmer. Picture: Ursula Kelly Photography & Video

I felt like a treat at the weekend, so I bought a copy of Hello that I normally read only at the hairdressers. Meghan Markle on the cover did it.

Sadly, all those perfect people in amazing houses made me feel, well, a bit lacking. 

Luckily, as I tame my mind on a daily basis, I was able to bounce back quickly but it reminded me of all the pressures we are putting on ourselves.

Social MEdia is all about the ‘Edited ME.’

“Look at me having fun. Look at me looking perfect (it only took 35 selfies and a bit of retouching)” scream the Facebook and Instagram posts. 

We don’t tend to post the photo of ourself as we truly are first thing on a wet morning when we have to force ourselves to get ready and go to work, the children have lost their shoes again, the dog has been sick, and another bill has landed on the doormat.

Baz Luhrmann says: “Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly,” in the song Everybody’s Free To Wear Sunscreen, and it is good advice.

You probably grab a magazine to read with your morning coffee to cheer yourself up.

Sadly, by page ten, you feel utterly empty, so you fill yourself up with a cake for now and then make a quick purchase from the High Street during your lunch.

“Yes, that’s the solution,” you say to yourself at a subconscious or conscious level: “If I wear that top I saw in the magazine worn by that happy celebrity, my life will be so much better.”

What you are doing is filling a void and trying to buy happiness.

No wonder that recently on Radio 2’s Jeremy Vine programme they discussed hoarding.

It is now classed as a disorder.

The reality is that, no matter how much you buy, you won’t feel complete in the place where it matters — inside.

People who are under pressure to be perfect, such as celebrities, can sit in their massive house, binge on television or food or alcohol or drugs yet it is never enough.

They finally seek therapeutic help after being arrested for crashing their car while drunk, for example —all to escape that feeling of not being enough. 

So what is the solution?

For starters, do not buy magazines or stuff when you are feeling down. 

Instead, do something nurturing such as going for a walk in the fresh air, taking a long candlelit bath, or connecting with your children or partner. 

Turn off the television — especially if it is depressing, such as most soap operas.

Get out a board game instead.Ring and speak to a friend.Volunteer somewhere and help someone less fortunate than you.Read a book. 

Do whatever works for you. 

You are unique as everyone else is taken, so be the best that you you can be. 

Love yourself and do not edit who you are to appear perfect.

You are enough. We all are enough. 

It is just that we are humans and sometimes in the middle of a busy day we forget this simple truth. 

Rosalyn Palmer is a rapid transformational therapist, clinical hypnotherapist, certified weight-loss practitioner and coach. She is a member of the General Hypnotherapy Register and National Council of Psychotherapists with practices in Newark and London. For more information go to rosalynpalmerhypno.com
Photograph: Ursula Kelly Photography & Video


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