Rosalyn Palmer : Twelve ways to counter Christmas misgivings
I love Christmas, yet there have been times, including the year my mother died, after my husband and I separated and when I was ill, when Christmas felt less like It’s A Wonderful Life and more like a time to endure.
Shops filled with decorations and jolly music left me wondering if I could be bothered to put up a tree let alone join in with the cheer.
Our greatest need is for connection.
We are also hard-wired to seek out the familiar and avoid the unfamiliar.
So, find yourself alone, bereaved or unwell and memories of connected Christmases cut deep.
The loss of what was familiar; such as shopping and cooking for loved ones; and the unfamiliarity of a new situation can feel daunting.
Feelings of separation can create an inner dialogue of: “Is this it now for me?” coupled with a nostalgic yearning for what has been lost.
This tiring mind-chatter can repress you and suppress your immune system, which is already depleted at a time of year when we lack sunshine.
So, here are the 12 Ways Of Christmas to counter those feelings:
1. Put yourself at the top of your gift list. Give yourself love, care and nurture.
2. Christmas-proof your body from the inside out with supplements including live bacteria probiotics, digestive enzymes and omega 3.
3. Rest, and before you go to sleep remind yourself of all of your positive qualities and little wins you had that day.
4. Have fun — whatever works for you. I love to go bowling to just forget about everything else. Dance. Sing.
5. Start a gratitude journal. On a bad day simply writing: “I am grateful for seeing a robin in the garden today” is good enough.
6. Stop depressing yourself by watching repressive things like the news. Be informed by catching up weekly via Have I Got News For You or similar.
7. Learn to let go, especially of perfection. Seven out of ten is good enough. Perfect people in magazines are air-brushed.
Perfection is unattainable, like a finish ribbon that moves away all the time. As such, it is the lowest quality of all.
8. Be kind to yourself. If you spoke harshly to a friend/lover the way you speak to yourself would they stay?
9. Say: “I am enough” to yourself every day. Write it on your mirrors. Have it as your screen-saver.
Celebrities who destroy themselves invariably do not feel that they are enough, despite all the trappings of fame and fortune.
10. Every day find ways to be a human-being not a human-doing. Walk in nature, soak in a hot bath or take ten uninterrupted minutes to savour your coffee.
11. Say “No” to others over-burdening you for your time and good nature.
12. Never say never. Even if you have been hurt in the past you can still find someone who loves and values you for who you are, but first you must do this for yourself.
Rosalyn Palmer is a rapid transformational therapist, clinical hypnotherapist, certified weight-loss practitioner and coach. She is a member of the General Hypnotherapy Register and National Council of Psychotherapists with practices in Newark and London. For more information go to rosalynpalmerhypno.com