Duncan Ellison, of Active Listening Therapies: Try re-opening traditional lines of communication

We live in an age where it has never been easier to connect with our friends, relatives and colleagues, writes Duncan Ellison, of Active Listening Therapies.

Technology allows us not only a good quality voice call, but also video calls to almost anywhere in the world.

It is hard to imagine that even a generation ago, to make a call ­— for many ­— meant a walk to the end of the street, to use a telephone that was open to the elements and offered little privacy.

For those fortunate enough to have a telephone at home, the rule, most probably, was no calls until after 6pm; the time at which call charges were reduced.

With so much technology available today, it is sad if not concerning, that many people are currently feeling disconnected from others.

I have noticed a trend with the discussions I am having, particularly with young people who are feeling more isolated than ever.

It may seem that our children are on the phone all the time, but the reality is they are struggling to have meaningful and fulfilling conversations, which is leading to feelings of isolation and numbness.

Working through the reasoning behind this, young people are saying they no longer have anything to discuss as everyday feels the same and there is nothing new or exciting to share. Essentially, there appears to be a lack of stimulation.

I am sure it is not just young people who are struggling.

As an adult, we are consumed with making the best out of a difficult time and life can feel like a perpetual schedule, albeit with little difference.

Indeed, we are living, working and surviving in homes that have been turned into multi-purpose environments.

We miss out on the daily commute, the coffee breaks, the incidental trips out and the working lunches ­— all which allow for conversation.

There is a conflict, in which it feels like there is little reason to pick up the phone as our social life has been put on hold ­— there is limit to how many times we can have same conversation about the weather, covid, and when the children will go back to school.

Yet, there has never been a more important time to stay in touch.

The facts speak for themselves.

In a survey in December, almost 25% of adults said they were experiencing feelings of loneliness.

This number vastly increased in young people, people who were out of work, full-time students, and single parents.

For people who have relied on technology to communicate for work or education in the last 12 months there is a feeling of exhaustion that has been labelled Zoom Fatigue, so it is easy to see why making a social telephone call may not have the same appeal as it did a year ago.

I do believe habits are changing due to the hybrid nature of how we currently live and work and this effects how we communicate.

More than likely, the family eating area will have been taken over as a makeshift workspace.

A consequence of this is, at the end of the day there is no communal area to gather in, so we are eating as individuals rather than as a family.

Because of this, we are not having meaningful discussion, off-loading to each other, or talking about how we feel.

This is a lack of stimulation, so if we are not in the habit of talking to those closest to us, we are in danger of not wanting to talk to anyone else.

We can make a positive difference.

This year, I predict a change in trend as to how we communicate; we may have reached the peak in how we use the telephone.

I dare say that most people under the age of 25 will not have experienced the pleasure of receiving a card, note or gift through the post.

Perhaps it is time to re-evaluate our relationship with the telephone and indeed the importance we place on it as a tool for positive social communication.

A letter, or a card with meaningful words and sentiment has much greater value than a digital message or lacklustre telephone call.